february 23rd / 2024


feeling: | cold listening to: Everything She Wants / WHAM!

oh shit, i'm alive?

Hey - wait, you guys are still here? Realized I've been getting guestbook messages again & I'm...genuinely surprised anyone still kicks arouund my silly lil page. (I guess that means I have to force myself back into the swing of updating, which I was gunna do anyways...) I somehow, some way survived a pretty big move in August (along with my parents suddenly moving out of state about a week later) unscathed but...woof, what a 6-8months it's been my dudes. (Again, I'm very fucking tired)

Anyways! On the fun side I've been trying to get in te groove to update some shit here (I've been on bedrest for months, so fuck it I guess) but here's some stuff I've done since last June, move excluded:

• My partners band played all together (on the same coast!) in August for the first time in...who knows
• Finally saw Danzig in September (Midnight/Twin Temple/Behemoth - fuck Behemoth forever)
• Saw Dethklok AGAIN in the same week, along with seeing my ex-girlfriend/best friend & another one of my besties (AKA the reassembly of Nathan/Toki/Pickles from our OG Dethklok cosplay group circa 2013) & almost died because some idiot wanted to drag me out of pit retirement during Hatredcopter.
• Have been incredibly unemployed but have also gotten a lot comfier working on my iPad, so I should probably update my art page soon.
• Tour! October was fun, and exhausting. I have no idea how many local shows I've seen in the last 6mos but I'm excited for whatever trip we end on soon. (Travel also meant I got to see friends from other bands that had moved since August as well) There's been a smattering of shows since, I should probably link some of the reviews & to some Bandcamp pages cuz dang if I don't love my friends. I have a really hard time making friends offline but apparently I can still make friends via metal shows, even if I get physically trapped behind the merch booth.
• Have been watching way too much wrestling as some sort of weird cope
• Went to a ton of Halloween parties, accidentally ended up with 567283 weirdos on Twitter as a result of my partner & I deciding DavisDurst costumes would be funny as hell. (They were. Having to hear people yell Twist at me at parties was less fun.)
• Have been doing a metric fuckton of cooking, which I have a love/hate relationship with, still.
• Survived The Holidays™, whatever whatever, apparently withstood most of February (death anniversaries, PTSD, & Valentines, ahoy!)
• Went to go see my local Type O Negative tribute band play for VDay for the first time in four years, along with seeing one of my partners best friends play drums for the opener. (Again, I really need to make a page for shit like that...)
• Honestly? Not much else. BUT I LIVED, BITCH. I haven't been well enough for...a lot, so my big achievment this week was unlocking Fred Durst in Smackdown: Just Bring It for PS2. Next week I travel to see my parents & get my hair done, yippee. Fucking turbo adult behavior over here, my dudes.


...Well. There's your update, for now at least. Lord knows when I'll check in again, or if I'll just go into the void for another 6mos+ - but good seein ya!









june 20th / 2023


feeling: | sleepy listening to: The Cramps / Psychedelic Jungle

jesus christ, I'm exhausted.

With good reason, I swear! I just came off of a...two week vacation...maybe? Might be longer. The build up made it seem longer. So! Kind of crashing from 7 days on the other side of the country (cramming in a couple with Shelly for the first time in 7-8yrs, even!) meeting my partners parents, about 27hrs of travel total tacke4d onto that, two days at the "new house" (I'm moving soon) - and a day and a half of downtime before packing it all back up again to go and see the motherfucking Cure. (As a belated joint birthday trip for my mother and I, on fucking Father's Day, of course)

So y'know, beat. And working, drawing, coding a little in between, & getting food poisoning after our lunch stop coming home yesterday. Fun! Coming up this week I'm not sure when I'll be going for my weekly partner visit (typically Tues. night-Friday) because they just finished up at their old job & have some time off - and their best friend is having her birthday party this weekend. I'll sleep when I'm dead, apparently, though I'm not really sure how in the fuck I'm actually alive now. (I'm not.)

Extremely jam packed bullshit aside (which I'm sure I'll want to post about later - but I haven't even LOOKED at half of my vacation photos) I mostly wanted to get this page up (I have to set up my actual work site again soon, may as well get in the habit, right?) aaaaand post about the Cure set while I can still half remember it. Despite my medication kicking in just around the beginning of their set For the uninformed, I don't really call myself goth - but everyone else does, however I will consider myself "Second Generation Goth". (My mom was going to 2-4 shows a week in Boston through the 70s & 80s...last time she saw the Cure was at the same venue we went to! In uh, 1986. Yeah. So! A lot of that stuff is very formative for me.) As we were leaving despite them playing at least 5 unreleased songs/random b-sides no one has access to we were joking like "Wow, had no idea I knew every Cure song ever" even though gun to my head I could probably name 5-7. I could sing you a bunch more, though.

And boy, were the people around us not thrilled about THAT fact. (Their loss. I'm here to have fun, and dance like a Peanuts character at one point people that had snuck into our completely fucking empty row scooted a full 2.5 seats down as a result of me dancing and refusing to give up my seat. Fuck off.) Anyways. We ended up last minute joining forces with my moms best friend (That she used to go to those 2-5 shows a week with...) Stopping in a little cafe where I couldn't find anything but french fries to eat & had the biggest, strongest Jack & Coke I'd had in years - and were on our merry way.

The weather was perfect - and by that I mean maybe 70f at most - 20% chance of rain, earlier in the day. Just kidding, the sky opened RIGHT the fuck up about five minutes in, just in time for Pictures of You which was perfect, hilarious, and insane to watch. (Also insane to watch was the people put out by it. 50/50 mix on who was laughing & dancing vs. who was openly upset that it rained off and on for maybe 20 minutes total of a fucking THREE HOUR SET. I joked about nature giving my the perfect oppportunity to "live my best Eric Draven fantasy" - which was a joke until...) I got my wish, which of course was to hear Burn live (why don't I have a Crow shrine?) and I was...surprised that not as many people marked the fuck out for it but definitely yelled "I'M GUNNA FUCKING SHIT" as soon as I heard the drums & realized I was going to have to put my phone down and scream/cry/dance my ass off. It was one of uh, two songs I got clips of - one just being the rain during Pictures of You because of the amount of dancing happening.

I'm not usually a "You damn kids and your phones!" person because I like taking clips at shows & wish I could have through 04-2010 but I realized how much it bothered me when we saw MCR last September cuz all I wanted to do was laugh and dance anyways. Whatever. Return to tradition, I guess. It was nice that the rain kept me from wanting to use my phone as an adult fidget toy & record everything cuz it was...a hell of a time. Unfortunately I couldn't get the merch my mom wanted but she did luck out...cuz they didn't have shit in my size, the merch prices were similar to how they were in 2005, and I did not fucking care cuz I was happy to be there. (Pat on the back, me, for hitting two merch booths and sprinting back up to our row in <4mins ) If I get off my ass, maybe I'll post some merch pictures soon - cuz I have a bunch of weird stuff & souveniers I'd like to post anyways. (I just y'know, haven't had 5mins to myself or where my brain is functional. Can't complain, but it's cutting into my internet hermit time)

We got back to the hotel around 2am after the parking lot from hell, which brought us such hits as the couple openly arguing because "All you care about is seeing a fucking band!" or the woman yelling for a solid hour about how "At least you're not the fucking idiot that CAN'T FIND THEIR CAR! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAR! FUCK ME!" (I think she found it, for the record) or, the kid on the side of the highway on his cellphone shrieking "I'm doing fucking jumping jacks, how can you not see me! THE HIGHWAY. WHERE ALL THE FUCKING CARS ARE". The crowd itself, for the record, before & during was pretty cool - but there was definitely a major age jump that was funny to see. LOVED seeing guys that looked like they were dressed for their desk jobs doing their trad 80s club dances, and the two girls a couple rows in front of me that had to be 18-19 just holding hands and swaying in their matching outfits the whole time. I'm bummed we missed the opener because of fucking traffic cops, but some dude at the porta potties told me they sounded a lot like She Wants Revenge so I'll have to look the up later, maybe you should too!

Okay that's enough rambling for now - my wrists hurt and I have to figure out when & what the fuck I'm doing with the rest of my week. See ya!